Prostitution Narratives by Caroline Norma Melinda Tankard Reist

Author:Caroline Norma, Melinda Tankard Reist [Caroline Norma, Melinda Tankard Reist]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Feminism, Biography, Sociology, Politics
ISBN: 9781742199863
Goodreads: 29555926
Publisher: Spinifex Press
Published: 2017-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

‘Mademoiselle’ subsequently undertook a Masters degree, and graduated with distinction after completing a major research thesis. She went on to have a family, and now lives and works with her husband in regional Australia.

1Dedicated to Heidi, Charrlotte and Robin for all their support.

2This is an excerpt from a longer version of my testimony.

No Life for a

Human Being

Autumn Burris

Adult-oriented businesses, such as ‘exotic dancing’ or stripping, are a gateway to prostitution. They are also a gateway to mental illness, including disassociation. By ‘disassociation’, I mean the capacity to mentally separate yourself from what is happening to your physical body. Disassociation is necessary to participate and survive in these businesses. Putting myself on stage was preferable for me because it meant I could disassociate through looking up to the ceiling instead of into a sea of eyes. Being ‘off the floor’ and on stage also meant groping hands were less likely to reach me.

As a survivor of indoor and outdoor, legal and illegal exploitation, I can assure you that all are equally harmful to the soul. Prostitution is routinely violent, psychologically and physically. The transaction means repeatedly having someone you are repulsed by touch you and/or enter your body, causing psychological damage. I wouldn’t accept overnight appointments because I couldn’t disassociate long enough to get through the night. Disassociation became more normalised over time and with practice – a trick of the trade. I learnt to numb myself by using alcohol and drugs, an important tool in surviving. I coped with all the unwanted sexual exchanges by limiting the amount of time with each sex buyer and instituting non-verbal and/or verbal boundaries – for example, keeping sex buyers away from my face and not allowing kissing.

But the problem with disassociation is that once you exit a life of sexual exploitation you don’t just go back to normal. Disassociation becomes a part of how you operate in daily life. In prevention programs I talk about the possibilities of healing from sexual exploitation, but I have to be truthful that, once you cross that line, you are never the same again. Yes, healing and recovery is possible, but return to a pre-exploitation state is not. It is as if once you cross that line of that first ‘date’ or ‘appointment’, something has been done, so the next one and the next one don’t really matter. You are already in it, feeling worthless and empty, and never able to return to the person you were before. You are in servitude in the system of prostitution.

When a sex buyer rents your body he often demands more of you than agreed. If you reject him, more often than not, violence ensues. It is common for sex buyers to act out violently against prostituted women. Upon entering prostitution it is immediately clear that there is no such thing as respect for human rights or physical boundaries as soon as a client buys power over you. They live out their fantasies through renting your body. Fantasies they wouldn’t think of asking their loved ones for, are requested of you.

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